Spare the Rod - Spoil the Child

No-one anticipates raising children who turn out rebellious or spoiled. However, that is the result of parents who fail to discipline their children. If a child grows up under weak authority or no authority, they will most likely turn into disrespectful human beings. I have discovered that if I really love my children, I will go the extra mile to correct them when they do wrong.

Joanna and I have had great success over the years in disciplining our children. However, recently, we have needed to coach one of our children to a better understanding of the motive and reason for discipline. He has come to the conclusion that discipline, because it is painful, is done out of our dislike of him. He feels that because we discipline him, and discipline is painful, we somehow don't like him. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

Anytime our children have questions, it is the perfect time for a teachable moment. We have taken this opportunity to teach our child about the reason why he is disciplined. First of all, it is biblical. 

Proverbs 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid."

Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."

Proverbs 15:5 "A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence."

Proverbs 15:32 "Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."

Proverbs 19:18 "Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death."

Secondly, we discipline out of love, because we know what is best for our children. If we desire for our children to grow up as mature, respectful and Christ honoring individuals, that begins in the home. Parents are the first authority figures in the life of a child. Parents set their children up for a future of success or failure as it relates to responding to the authority figures in position over them for the rest of their lives. In my years as a youth pastor, I have been around many students who have shown a lack of respect for authority. In most situations, this falls back on their parents. In these situations, it will be up to the students to develop a respect for authority on their own because their parents failed to teach them. They will be more likely to live a problematic life because of their failure to respect authority.

Discipline is vital to a child's well-being. By finding a form of discipline that works, we are setting our children up for a lifetime of obedience. We are God's system for developing children who submit to earthly authority, but most importantly we are coaching them to be sensitive to obey God's authority.

Love is Compelling

Love compels us to do crazy things. Today is Valentine's Day. It's amazing to consider the lengths we will go to in order to make our special someone grasp our love for them. On average, a man will spend $170 on items such as flowers, chocolates, jewelry, balloons and cards. It is estimated that over 150 million cards will be purchased and given for Valentine's Day. That is incredible!

It's confession time: I am a hopeless romantic. I have given my fair share of flowers, gifts and cards over the years. One year, I got this idea to create a large card for Joanna. I decided I wouldn't go to Hallmark, but that I would make her a card. I'm not much of an artist, so this card wasn't going to look beautiful. However, I was fairly good at putting my thoughts into writing. Another strike I had against me was that my writing is very close to being non-legible. With all of that considered, I proceeded to cut words out of magazines to form the message that I wanted to communicate with my Valentine. Now, I can't say this was an original idea as I had seen these done before by others, but I had never created one myself. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It would have been easier if all I wanted to put on the poster was a giant I LOVE YOU, but no, I had at least 150 words that I wanted to communicate. This took a long time!

Now, I know what you're thinking... "Why would you do that?" Here's the short answer: Love compels us to do crazy things. It's the same answer a girl would give who presses the rose pedals, from her boyfriend's gift of flowers, in a book, only to let them attract ants and other critters. Or the boy and girl who talk on the phone or text for hours in the evening before bed. Love compels us to do crazy things.

John 14:15 says, "If you love me, you will obey what I command." In other words, it is love that compels us to follow Jesus. If we are serious about our relationship with Jesus, and we truly love Jesus, then we will be tenacious about knowing Him and doing what He wants us to do.I have talked to a lot of people over years as a pastor, particularly youth, who tell me, "Wow, Pastor Fred, it seems the Bible and a relationship with God is all about rules." They say, "The Bible is too strict." I say, "Yea, but do you love Him?" If you have a lot of head-knowledge about God and you don't have a relationship with Him, then yes, the Bible is a bunch of rules to be followed. But if you have a relationship with God, all of the principles and commands are there for a reason. The reason of these commands are to lead us into a life of holiness and as it says in Joshua 1, "then you will be prosperous and successful." 

If we sincerely love Jesus as He desires, which is with our heart, soul, mind and strength, then we will be willing to do whatever it takes to show Him that we love Him. Every time we do something that is in direct obedience to the Word of God, we are telling Jesus that we love Him. Our obedience is all the proof He needs of our affection, allegiance and adoration. Our obedience is in direct correlation of how we feel about Jesus. The person who is deeply in love with Jesus is also the one who will go to great lengths to obey all of God's commands throughout Scripture. Why? Because love is what compels us.

Leap B 4 U Look

When was the last time you dared to do something that you've never done before? I mean something that you would consider risky. Doing something risky always comes with hesitation. Each of us like to calculate the odds of getting through and surviving whatever it is we are attempting. Some of us have a high threshold for fear and some of us are afraid to walk in the dark.

Last Summer, my son and I enjoyed a father-son retreat to the North Georgia mountains. We had a blast together! We enjoyed experiences together such as making s'mores, building a fort in the woods without tools, and participating in a father-son scavenger hunt. Each of these events were fun, but by far my favorite part of the whole weekend came toward the end of our free time one afternoon. Allan and I went down to the lake to swim and ride the water slides. We also discovered that they had a 50-foot high jump over the deep end of the lake. We had to try that out! Allan and I both climbed the steps leading up to the wood platform that led to the end of this high-dive. He and I both stood there, on the edge, looking down on what seemed like a massive drop. It was somewhat unsettling for both of us as we looked down. Allan decided that he wanted to watch me take the plunge and jump down first. I took a few steps and took the leap, and felt the rush of the few seconds it took in the air to get down, before splashing into the water below. I thought my demonstration was going to be enough for Allan to join me in the lake. Little did I know that it wasn’t going to be that easy. I tried to encourage and cheer him on from the water. Meanwhile, there were other kids jumping off the high-dive, some who were younger than Allan. They too were trying to encourage him. There were several times that Allan looked as if he was going to jump, and then he would get to the edge, and then he would clam up and chicken out. Forty-five minutes had passed and we were running out of time for Allan to make this happen because it was almost time to get cleaned up for supper. With four or five other fathers and sons watching and cheering Allan on, he began to cry and climb down the stairs as if he was about to give up on trying. Deep down, Allan wanted to jump, but every time he got close to the edge and looked down at the lake, he wasn’t sure if his body would survive the plunge. I met him with a hug as he climbed back down the steps to the high-dive. Then I looked at him in his eyes and told him, “Allan, you can do this!” I coached him and challenged him to conquer this fear. After a few minutes he made the climb back up the stairs and made his way out to the edge of the high-dive. By this time, he had a small crowd of fathers and sons cheering him on from the edge of the lake. He took one glance down at the lake, then walked back a little, and then Allan took a leap of faith and jumped down into the lake below. (See picture)

That day, Allan did more than jump into that lake. Allan conquered a fear. Allan stepped out in faith and did something that wasn’t easy for him, something that involved great risk for an eight year old. Needless to say, I was very proud of him. He will be able to look back on that day his whole life, whenever he is faced with a mountain of risk, he can remember the day that God gave him strength.

There was some serious symbolism in that jump. While enjoying our retreat, Allan and I were also anticipating our family’s move to Minnesota. We had spent the last six years living in the South, and we were moving twenty-five hours North to a small town in the heart of Minnesota. We were use to living close to our extended family and this would put us more than a day’s drive away. Why would we make this move? Yes it was risky. Not many people would even consider it. Our family moved to Minnesota because God called us to serve Him. If we aspire to obey the Lord, He will often call us to take great risks for Him.

God asks us to have a risk-taking faith – to move outside our comfort zones and do things to serve others that we can’t do on our own, to follow God into places that cause us to rely completely on Him. Risk-taking faith isn’t for the faint of heart. It stretches us. It breaks us out of mediocrity and it gets us to live out a relentless, nothing holds you back faith in Jesus Christ!

Throughout Scripture we ready of many people who took giant leaps of faith. Abel brought his offering. Noah built his ark. Abraham took his son to be sacrificed. Moses went to Pharaoh. Joshua took charge and rallied the troops. David picked up some stones for his sling. And these examples are just the tip of the iceberg.

God desires obedience. When we walk in obedience, and step out in faith and are empowered by His Spirit, we will do great things for Jesus!