Lessons learned from watching my sister battle cancer

By way of background, I received a phone call last July from my Mom telling me that my sister, Andrea, had cancer.  I had never heard news of this magnitude, outside of finding out when three of my grandparents each passed away. My heart sunk. Of all things, I was on a service project at a cemetery. 

My mind began to race in a million directions. I thought of the seriousness of this disease and how difficult it would be for my sister. I was thinking of all the people I have known over the years who have had cancer. Some beat it and some didn't.

That night, I was able to talk with my sister for the first time following her diagnosis. I realized that this would not be your typical battle with cancer. All the worry that I had, the anxiety that I had laid at Jesus feet, was exchanged with peace and replaced with encouragement. Andrea was confident. I could hear the smile in her voice. It was obvious that God was at work in my sister's life.

Every phone call since that first one, for the last 6 months, have been similar. I have never heard my sister complain once. She has stayed positive through this entire fight. I had the opportunity to spend three special days with her over Christmas. I savored every moment. All of the feelings that she communicated over the phone were magnified in person. She literally radiated joy. She was at peace. She was totally content with her life and where the Lord was taking her.

As I have observed my sister's battle with cancer, I have learned three major lessons. There are others, but these are the biggies. These lessons have been learned from afar because she lives in Texas and I'm in Minnesota. These lessons have been learned over the phone, through Facetime, and in the few days we spent together in December.

The first lesson that I have learned from watching my sister is that strength isn't manufactured. There have been times in my life when I have needed strength. Strength to make a major decision. Strength to speak in public. Strength to endure a year and a half of living with parents with three small children. These are all well and good, however, it pales in comparison with having a terminal disease and undergoing the rigors of chemotherapy with a smile. A smile is the outer expression of an inner strength, peace and joy. This strength isn't something that she just musters up or pulls out of a hat. This strength comes from her relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Andrea has always had a close relationship with Jesus. As far back as I can remember, I found Andrea in her room spending time with Jesus reading her Bible or praying. That time spent fueling the flame of her walk with God is reaping a harvest of righteousness and inner-strength that very few people in this world have. Jesus is living in Andrea and giving her strength.

Secondly, I have seen James 1:3 come to life. In a nutshell, this verse tells us that trials bring perseverance and perseverance brings faith. I have taught this verse many times, but have never understood it until this year. This is obviously a trial in Andrea's life. Cancer is not a walk in the park. The same can be said of chemo. Instead of Andrea going into depression or drowning in her sorrows and bad news, Andrea has done the opposite. She has asked the Lord to be glorified in her life through this battle. Her prayer since day one has been, "Lord, whatever you want to do in me, have your way." The Lord is our healer and we have been praying for that, but He is also our sanctifier and many times those two attributes go hand in hand. Andrea has had her faith built and has grown deeper in her love of Jesus through this season. God has taught me the value of enduring trial as a faith builder.

Thirdly, I have learned that nothing should come in between our relationship with Jesus. The verse that our family has rallied around during the last six months is Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That is an incredible truth and has brought so much hope to our family. The flip side of that verse would be that we, as followers of Christ, should not allow anything to get in the way of our love for Him. There are many things that could create a wedge and drive us away. I have counseled people in ministry over the years who have allowed cancer to drive them away from the Lord. It has been incredible for me to observe my sister growing closer to Jesus even in the midst of this fight. She has not allowed this horrible disease to keep her from all that is hers through faith in Jesus Christ. I have been challenged to not allow my circumstances to stand in the way of pressing into Jesus.

I want to encourage you. If you find yourself in the midst of a fight, don't give up. God has a plan. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord." God knew from the day Andrea was born that she would face this battle. This didn't catch Him by surprise. He has a perfect plan for Andrea and He has a perfect plan for you. Trust in Him. Our only hope in this world is Jesus Christ. Do you believe that?

Discipline

Discipline is the key to physical and spiritual vitality. Without discipline our physical weight would balloon. Without discipline our hearts would fall prey to the temptations of the world and we would fall away from God. Discipline is the way in which we are trained which in turn brings success. This training will often bring pain, but the pain is totally worth it.

Accepting discipline doesn't come naturally. I remember as a child, dreading the verdict of what my punishment would be for doing wrong. I recall thinking, "Wow, my parents are so mean, I will never treat my children this way." My parents would tell me that discipline was their way of loving me and teaching me lessons in life. At the time, I didn't understand.  I couldn't see past the pain that I was experiencing from the punishment inflicted.  

However, now I understand why my parents used discipline in my life. As a parent myself, I realize that my parents knew what I needed in order to develop maturity. They wanted me to grow. They wanted me to not just learn specific rights and wrongs, but to learn the value of respecting authority. They were using discipline to train me.

A parent's discipline is similar to the discipline that our Heavenly Father brings. Hebrews 12:9 says, "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

The Lord brings correction for wrongdoing and the result in us is righteousness. If we fall into temptation and sin, we can expect the Lord will punish us. He punishes us for our own good. His purpose in punishment is to make us holy as He is holy. His punishment can be painful but it is profitable.

I have never been very disciplined in the areas of physical exercise and eating right. Recently the Lord has spoken to me about this area of my life. He is calling me to a deeper level of discipline. I must be willing to go the extra mile to make sure I take care of my body. It is not easy to avoid certain foods or to take smaller portions. It is not easy to incorporate exercise into a busy schedule. All of these practices can be painful, but they are totally worth it.

The most important area of life to be discipline in is our personal quiet time with the Lord. This takes effort to set aside all distractions, or to get out of bed early, and to be consistent in seeking the Lord daily. Jesus is our example in this. Luke 5:16 says, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." If Jesus did it, we better do it.  If we're going to accomplish anything worth while in our day, we must be disciplined in spending time at the feet of Jesus. Martin Luther said, "I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer." If we are going to grow closer to Jesus, we must be vigilant and disciplined in spending time with Him.

God calls us to a high standard, just as parents should be calling their children to high standards. May we be disciplined. May the Lord empower us to be what God has called us to be. If you are struggling in an area of life, may God give you the strength to be more disciplined.  Discipline is totally worth it.