Spare the Rod - Spoil the Child

No-one anticipates raising children who turn out rebellious or spoiled. However, that is the result of parents who fail to discipline their children. If a child grows up under weak authority or no authority, they will most likely turn into disrespectful human beings. I have discovered that if I really love my children, I will go the extra mile to correct them when they do wrong.

Joanna and I have had great success over the years in disciplining our children. However, recently, we have needed to coach one of our children to a better understanding of the motive and reason for discipline. He has come to the conclusion that discipline, because it is painful, is done out of our dislike of him. He feels that because we discipline him, and discipline is painful, we somehow don't like him. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

Anytime our children have questions, it is the perfect time for a teachable moment. We have taken this opportunity to teach our child about the reason why he is disciplined. First of all, it is biblical. 

Proverbs 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid."

Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."

Proverbs 15:5 "A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence."

Proverbs 15:32 "Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."

Proverbs 19:18 "Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death."

Secondly, we discipline out of love, because we know what is best for our children. If we desire for our children to grow up as mature, respectful and Christ honoring individuals, that begins in the home. Parents are the first authority figures in the life of a child. Parents set their children up for a future of success or failure as it relates to responding to the authority figures in position over them for the rest of their lives. In my years as a youth pastor, I have been around many students who have shown a lack of respect for authority. In most situations, this falls back on their parents. In these situations, it will be up to the students to develop a respect for authority on their own because their parents failed to teach them. They will be more likely to live a problematic life because of their failure to respect authority.

Discipline is vital to a child's well-being. By finding a form of discipline that works, we are setting our children up for a lifetime of obedience. We are God's system for developing children who submit to earthly authority, but most importantly we are coaching them to be sensitive to obey God's authority.

Journaling

I have recently started to journal. January 8 to be exact. At one point in my past, I journaled off and on, but it was never consistent. I would write a page and then miss a couple months. Like anything in life, in order to be good and to do it consistently, there needs to be discipline involved. Journaling takes time.  For me, it has become an important part of my quiet time with the Lord.

So, why have I all of a sudden taken up journaling? The main reason is that I feel God has led me into this. In addition, it was through a teaching I heard at a conference last December, where the speaker challenged everyone to take up a new discipline this next year to go deeper with Christ. In addition, my Dad has shared with me before, the inspiring reason for why he keeps a journal. He says, "If someone gave you $100, where are going to put it? (in your wallet) Then, if God gives you a word or message, do you have a place to put it?" Journaling allows a person to record these priceless deposits from the Lord.

There are basically three different areas that I write about in my journal:

1) Messages from God. These can be insights into His character or Scripture verses that jump out at me during my quiet time. These are any nuggets the Lord gives me that I don't want to forget.

2) Personal life details. As life unfolds, I want to record the highs and the lows. This will allow me to look back and see where I've been in order to recognize the faithfulness of God.

3) Prayers and Answers. As the Lord leads me to pray for specific needs, I write them down. Then, as I see the Lord work in response to these prayers, I go back and record what He has done.

My desire is to take the idea of a diary with a lock on it to a whole new level. I want to redeem the blank pages that my journal came with. By implementing this discipline, my life will be inspired by the faithfulness of God. Spiritual health is a result of incorporating good habits into your plan. Journaling is one that God is using to take my walk with God to a whole new level.

What has been your practice in journaling?  I would love to read your insights.

Discipline

Discipline is the key to physical and spiritual vitality. Without discipline our physical weight would balloon. Without discipline our hearts would fall prey to the temptations of the world and we would fall away from God. Discipline is the way in which we are trained which in turn brings success. This training will often bring pain, but the pain is totally worth it.

Accepting discipline doesn't come naturally. I remember as a child, dreading the verdict of what my punishment would be for doing wrong. I recall thinking, "Wow, my parents are so mean, I will never treat my children this way." My parents would tell me that discipline was their way of loving me and teaching me lessons in life. At the time, I didn't understand.  I couldn't see past the pain that I was experiencing from the punishment inflicted.  

However, now I understand why my parents used discipline in my life. As a parent myself, I realize that my parents knew what I needed in order to develop maturity. They wanted me to grow. They wanted me to not just learn specific rights and wrongs, but to learn the value of respecting authority. They were using discipline to train me.

A parent's discipline is similar to the discipline that our Heavenly Father brings. Hebrews 12:9 says, "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

The Lord brings correction for wrongdoing and the result in us is righteousness. If we fall into temptation and sin, we can expect the Lord will punish us. He punishes us for our own good. His purpose in punishment is to make us holy as He is holy. His punishment can be painful but it is profitable.

I have never been very disciplined in the areas of physical exercise and eating right. Recently the Lord has spoken to me about this area of my life. He is calling me to a deeper level of discipline. I must be willing to go the extra mile to make sure I take care of my body. It is not easy to avoid certain foods or to take smaller portions. It is not easy to incorporate exercise into a busy schedule. All of these practices can be painful, but they are totally worth it.

The most important area of life to be discipline in is our personal quiet time with the Lord. This takes effort to set aside all distractions, or to get out of bed early, and to be consistent in seeking the Lord daily. Jesus is our example in this. Luke 5:16 says, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." If Jesus did it, we better do it.  If we're going to accomplish anything worth while in our day, we must be disciplined in spending time at the feet of Jesus. Martin Luther said, "I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer." If we are going to grow closer to Jesus, we must be vigilant and disciplined in spending time with Him.

God calls us to a high standard, just as parents should be calling their children to high standards. May we be disciplined. May the Lord empower us to be what God has called us to be. If you are struggling in an area of life, may God give you the strength to be more disciplined.  Discipline is totally worth it.