Spare the Rod - Spoil the Child

No-one anticipates raising children who turn out rebellious or spoiled. However, that is the result of parents who fail to discipline their children. If a child grows up under weak authority or no authority, they will most likely turn into disrespectful human beings. I have discovered that if I really love my children, I will go the extra mile to correct them when they do wrong.

Joanna and I have had great success over the years in disciplining our children. However, recently, we have needed to coach one of our children to a better understanding of the motive and reason for discipline. He has come to the conclusion that discipline, because it is painful, is done out of our dislike of him. He feels that because we discipline him, and discipline is painful, we somehow don't like him. That is the furthest thing from the truth.

Anytime our children have questions, it is the perfect time for a teachable moment. We have taken this opportunity to teach our child about the reason why he is disciplined. First of all, it is biblical. 

Proverbs 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid."

Proverbs 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."

Proverbs 15:5 "A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence."

Proverbs 15:32 "Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."

Proverbs 19:18 "Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death."

Secondly, we discipline out of love, because we know what is best for our children. If we desire for our children to grow up as mature, respectful and Christ honoring individuals, that begins in the home. Parents are the first authority figures in the life of a child. Parents set their children up for a future of success or failure as it relates to responding to the authority figures in position over them for the rest of their lives. In my years as a youth pastor, I have been around many students who have shown a lack of respect for authority. In most situations, this falls back on their parents. In these situations, it will be up to the students to develop a respect for authority on their own because their parents failed to teach them. They will be more likely to live a problematic life because of their failure to respect authority.

Discipline is vital to a child's well-being. By finding a form of discipline that works, we are setting our children up for a lifetime of obedience. We are God's system for developing children who submit to earthly authority, but most importantly we are coaching them to be sensitive to obey God's authority.

Making it Through a Transition

Transitions can be bittersweet and sometimes difficult. The stress of leaving something in order to pursue something else comes with mixed emotions. It is the in-between stages of life that can be stressful, frustrating, exciting and draining all at the same time.

I currently find myself in a transition and not just any transition, a major life-changing transition. I have served as a youth pastor for 15 years, and this week I will lead my final youth group service. I am leaving full-time youth ministry in order to serve as Church Relations Director at the College of Prayer (www.collegeofprayer.org). I figured I have led over 200 Wednesday nights such as these at this church and countless more at others. It's sad to close the book on this youth pastor journey. I think of the countess students I have had the privilege of knowing and pointing to Jesus over the years. What an honor, but it is still emotional.

So, what is it that is getting me through the emotions, not only of leaving an assignment, but of packing to relocate, saying goodbye to a community we love and then starting a new ministry assignment? The answer is simple: I am keeping my eyes on Jesus. By keeping my eyes on Jesus, the next season of my life has become clear. Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." I know in my heart that God has called me to this next ministry assignment. Although I have a lot to learn starting my new position, I can picture the next 5+ years of my life.

No matter what the transition is, it is essential to start with the end in mind. Give God the opportunity to help you develop a picture of the future. For anyone who tries to focus on anything or anyone other than Jesus during a transition, they can expect to fall flat on their face every time. A picture of the future is like a carrot on a stick that keeps you moving forward in the midst of whatever comes your way during the transition.

May God bless you in whatever transitions you face in life.

Dad, watch this!

I just realized this blog title may be a little misleading. Re-reading it makes me think something bad is going to happen following this statement. This phrase could be used right before something blows up. That's not quite what I'm going for.  

Recently, my 8 year old son, Luke, has developed a strong desire to show off. We have a mini basketball hoop in our house that hangs from the top of a closet door. It is at the perfect height for Luke to jump and dunk the ball. He has gotten very good at it. It doesn't hurt that our hometown Minnesota Timberwolves player, Zach Lavine, won the slam dunk contest two weeks ago. Watching Zach's high-flying acts has inspired Luke to try his own. Well, in his enthusiasm, he has this built-in desire for me to see him perform. He wants to impress his Dad. So, I have recently heard him say over and over, "Dad, watch this!" I love to watch his dunk contest, but when he catches me doing something else in the middle of it, I can be assured that those three words will be said. He really wants to impress me.

If we're honest with ourselves, we all have a built in desire to impress. That is our fleshly sinful nature coming out. We want to please people. We want people to be impressed with us. 

We may also get caught up with a desire to impress God. This can be dangerous. If we are constantly trying to do good things in order to somehow win the blessing of God. It will lead us to a life of emptiness. We will run ourselves ragged. We will try and try and never succeed at doing good enough. Don't get me wrong, it is great to serve God, but if our motives are to impress Him, or make ourselves look good in front of people because we're serving God, we are serving for the wrong reason.

In Matthew 6:1, Jesus says, “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." Jesus makes it very clear that doing good deeds to impress others is the wrong idea. Our eternal blessings are at stake!

At the heart of this command is genuine humility. We must be humble in making sure our motives are right. The only way to conquer the pride that comes with our sinful nature, and to replace it with humility, is to surrender ourselves daily to the work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will work in us to provide the tender humility needed to serve and do good deeds solely for the glory of God. May God's Name and His renown be the desires of our hearts through sincere humility. Not to us, not to us, oh Lord, but to Your Name be all the glory.

Why?

My youngest son, Isaac (23 months), has recently learned a new word: Why. There is a lot packed into that little word. You see, Isaac is quickly approaching his second birthday, and it's around two years old that children begin to find their sinful nature. You've heard of the terrible two's? At this age, children reveal their built in desire to rebel. Isaac has probably picked this word up from one of his older siblings. However, he uses it far more frequently. When we tell him not to do something, he has begun to always respond with that deep and significant question, why? I must say, there aren't many things sweeter than the sound that comes through the voice of a toddler. I have found myself having to push past the cuteness to better understand what is taking place in his mind.

The word why is used as a question to help clarify and to hopefully receive a better explanation. If we can't wrap our minds around something, whether it be a statement or a situation, we will often ask why? If something doesn't make sense, it begs the question why? We want to know the details. We want to better understand the reason for something.

I laugh at my son, but I realize that I have found myself in different places throughout life when I have asked God the same question. When we experience difficulty in this life, it is easy to want to know all the details. Really, what is happening is that we are questioning the very sovereignty of God. For the follower of Christ, the sovereignty of God says that God is always in control, even when life gets out of control. This means that even when we don't understand why things happen the way they do, God is still in control of the situation. We may only see what is right in front of us, but God is involved in the big picture.

My wife likes to describe this idea with a picture in which we can all relate. Imagine you are driving down the highway and there is an eighteen-wheel truck directly in front of you. It can be really hard to see around him. All you are able to see is the back of that large truck. You may want to find out why he is driving so slow, but in that moment you're not able to see the big picture. This requires patience until the opportunity is there for you or the truck to move.

We will have times in our life when we want to see the big picture, and God wants us to lean in and trust Him. God always has a purpose in everything and we can trust Him, even when we want to ask why?  

Here are a few Scriptures that I claim when I find myself in a season of asking that question:
Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Proverbs 16:9  In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Matthew 6:8  Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Matthew 6:26  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

May God whisper those words into your ear when you find yourself asking why? When we feel as if we need all the answers and want to ask why, we need to remember a simple phrase: God is good. All the time.

I want to be THAT guy

I have been in conversations, when we have discussed someone and referred to them as, "that guy." (Maybe you've heard this used before.) It typically is not about someone in particular. For example, when you are in a gathering, and people show appreciation through applause, there is always that guy who feels as if he needs to be the last person to clap. There is always that guy. Or, there is always that guy who fires his rifle before proper shooting light on the morning of the deer hunting opener. Another example is, there is always that guy who coughs or blows his nose when there is silence during a church service.

Whether you can identify with these examples or not, some of us know that guy or maybe even some of us are that guy. 

The other day, I was reading Scripture and the Lord spoke to me through Psalm 112. As I read it, I realized it is a call to men. I recorded 20 descriptions that God uses of a righteous man within this chapter. This is in no way an exhaustive list, maybe you would be able to find more. As I studied these descriptions, I told the Lord, I want to be that guy.  If there is ever a that guy description that is worthy of being, this is it!

Check out these 20 descriptions:

1) v1: He fears the Lord.

2) v1: He delights in God's commands.

3) v2: His offspring will be mighty in the land.

4) v3: He experiences wealth.

5) v3: His legacy lasts.

6) v4: His light shines in the darkness.

7) v4: He is gracious, merciful and righteous.

8) v5: He is generous and lends freely.

9) v5: He conducts situations with justice.

10) v6: He will never be moved.

11) v6: He will be remembered forever.

12) v7: He is not afraid of bad news.

13) v7: His heart is firm and trusts God.

14) v8: He has a steady heart.

15) v8: He is not afraid.

16) v8: He will overcome his enemies.

17) v9: He gives freely to the Lord.

18) v9: His righteousness endures forever.

19) v9: His name is exalted in honor.

20) v10: He is an example to the unsaved.

It is safe to say that our culture needs more men of God who strive to be that guy. Many of society's problems stem from the inability of men to belly up to their God-given responsibilities of leadership within the home, workplace and community. May God empower each of us to be that guy as described in Psalm 112.

A Willingness To Wait

There are a lot of circumstances in life that require patience. Since moving to Minnesota, I have taken up hunting, and I have gone fishing more than at any other time in my life. Both of these sports require patience. You can't expect a fourteen point Buck to walk directly towards your deer stand at daybreak on the opening day. You can't sit over a spear hole, inside your ice house for five minutes, and then expect to have a fifteen pound Northern staring at your Sucker fish decoy. It just doesn't happen that way. Both activities require immense waiting.

I have learned that good things come to those who wait. I am in the middle of a season right now of waiting. I am seeking the Lord's direction for future ministry. One part of me wants to have an instant download, and for the Lord to give me a clear picture of what He wants for me to do. However, I know that He doesn't roll like that. I know from past experience that God wants me to lean in, to pray, soak up Scripture and to seek His face. In doing that, He wants to refine me and take me to new places with Him. Through this process of molding and developing, then I will be in a place to know His perfect plan.

We have become so use to having whatever we need whenever we want it. We have gotten use to having fast food, smartphones, Wifi, and on and on. Because our culture has engulfed us with instant gratification, waiting on the Lord goes against every fiber of our being. We want to put things in a microwave when God wants us to use a crockpot. 

As followers of Jesus Christ, we must develop a willingness to wait. God's Word confirms this truth. Here are a couple of my favorites: Lamentations 3:25 says, "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him." Isaiah 40:31 says, "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." 

Knowing the faithfulness of God, helps survive the waiting. God's ways and His timing are always perfect. Even when revelation doesn't come in our timing, we can know that God is still at work, even in the season of waiting. In His time, He will make our paths straight. Just be patient.

Wanting to Dream Again

It has been far too long since I have posted a blog article. One reason that has kept me from sharing my thoughts in this forum has been the inability to dream. When you are not able to dream, the thoughts don't flow too easily.

On this day, the day we celebrate and remember the life of Martin Luther King Jr, we remember his famous speech at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. He told the many gathered there that day, "I have a dream." That quote is one that resonates with me. It's one that will forever be attached with Dr. King. Well, for me, the last few months, I have been unable to dream.

I want to dream again. I am at my best when I can think clearly, hear God's voice and respond to His leading. When this happens, the Holy Spirit activates my creativity and the thoughts begin to flow.

When you are not able to dream and the thoughts do not flow, it is important to take time to evaluate and determine what is causing the blockage. So that's what I did. When I sought the Lord for direction and to find out the reason for my inability to dream, He pointed out two areas: sin and stress.

Sin will ruin any ability to dream. As I mentioned before, in Christ, the Holy Spirit activates our creative ability. Whenever we choose to sin, we are pushing the Holy Spirit out of our life. A holy God cannot tolerate sin in a person's life. That which is holy does not operate in the same room as that which is holy. Isaiah 59:2 says, "But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that he does not hear." Wow. Those are heavy words. I have students all the time who come to me asking why it seems as if God is distant. I say, "Hello, have you done an inventory of your life?" When I sought the Lord, He pointed out that I had been carrying some sinful patterns in my life that had not been dealt with. In that very moment, I laid there fully exposed. I repented of all known sin and received the cleansing of Jesus.

The second and final area the Lord showed me that had been clogging my dream ducts was stress. I am just coming through a season of heavy stress. In anyone's life, there are many factors that cause stress: family, physical health, finances, the work place, other relationships, and I could list many more. Stress will affect a person's body, behavior, feelings and thoughts. In my case it was keeping me from dreaming. I was so consumed with the factors causing my stress that it was not allowing me clarity and creativity. The Lord is leading me through this. Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God." As we deal with stress, may the Lord bring the peace that is promised in the following verse.

All throughout Scripture, we read of people who had dreams and visions. God spoke to Abram in a dream and told him of His presence with him. Jacob had a powerful dream of a stairway to heaven. God led Paul several times through visions and dreams. This is still common today for those who follow Jesus. I have personally experienced this in my own life. The Lord is leading me back to that place again.