The Sanctity of Marriage

I can remember my wedding day as if it happened yesterday. It was a beautiful December night, our church was decorated for Christmas. We had all of our family and friends in attendance. Everything from the pre-wedding photos to the bubbles as we left the reception could not have been more perfect. I love to look back at our photo album to remember that special night as my wife and I became one.

The family was created by God and serves the purposes of God. Marriage is a divine institution. Genesis 2:24 says, “A man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife". It was God’s idea and was created for His purposes. Because of this, the government goes beyond its God given responsibility when they try to prohibit or tamper with what God ordained the family to be.

God created marriage to be a picture of Christ and the church. (See Ephesians 5) Marriage is about the Gospel. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice as He laid down His life for the church. A husband must do the same for his wife. Sacrifice is lived out on a daily basis within a healthy marriage. This is Biblical marriage.

Because of this, as Kingdom people, we must cast our vote for the Biblical definition of the family. We cannot vote for gay marriage. It is directly opposed to the instruction of God. It doesn’t mean that God does not love homosexuals and wants to see them restored. This is not hate speech. This is defending the family which is God’s creation.

I have been happily married now for almost twenty years. We are in the process of raising four children together. Marriage certainly has it's highs and lows, but we have learned over the years to deal with struggles. There is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people. The best way to keep a marriage healthy is by having Jesus at the center and spend consistent time together in prayer.

Idolatry in the Home

This last Sunday, I preached a message from Deuteronomy 6:4-9. In this text, Moses gives his farewell address to the people of Israel and is preparing the way for a transfer of leadership to Joshua. This is Moses' last chance to speak into the lives of those he has led for several decades. It is monumental what he says.

Moses challenges the people to love God and obey His commands. Then, he tells the people to teach these things to their children. Each of these admonitions are powerful. However, each of these are preceded by a crucial statement: "The Lord our God, the Lord is one." The reason Moses says this is because the Israelites had a history with idolatry. Idolatry is putting anything else in the place of the one true God.

In Exodus 32 we read of a sad situation when Moses was away from the Israelite camp and the Israelites began to grumble and complain because of his absence. Then, they turned to Aaron in their grumbling and said they wanted to erect a god to worship. They fell hard into idolatry. This was such a problem that God intentionally created a commandment against it. We read in Deuteronomy 5:8, "You shall not make for yourself an idol." In his farewell address, Moses wanted to remind the people to love the one true God.

In our American culture, we have allowed idolatry to creep into our lives and homes. Many who claim to have a relationship with God, sacrifice their walk and intimacy with Him to pursue other earthly attractions such as TV, music, internet, video games, food, sports, money, toys, etc. These are not bad in themselves, but they become bad as they take the place of God in our lives.

I have heard my Dad say from time to time, "Our children will run after the biggest god that they see." As parents we must rid our homes of idols. If we long to see our children walk with Jesus, we must clear the stage and allow Jesus to be the center of our homes. If our purpose, as parents, is to raise the next major league baseball player, then that will be at the center of our universe as a family. If that is the case then everything that we do will be to bow to the whims and wishes of the baseball gods.

However, if our goal is to produce followers of Jesus Christ in our homes, then we will develop a vision and execute a plan to lay a foundation for multi-generational faithfulness to the Lord. Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, "If anyone come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." If we are going to usher in the manifest presence of Christ in our homes, we must first deal with the idols, then we must schedule times of worship for our family to grow closer to Jesus. The sacrifices we will make to deny ourselves and our children the worldly distractions to focus on what matters most will result in eternal significance.  

Lessons learned from watching my sister battle cancer

By way of background, I received a phone call last July from my Mom telling me that my sister, Andrea, had cancer.  I had never heard news of this magnitude, outside of finding out when three of my grandparents each passed away. My heart sunk. Of all things, I was on a service project at a cemetery. 

My mind began to race in a million directions. I thought of the seriousness of this disease and how difficult it would be for my sister. I was thinking of all the people I have known over the years who have had cancer. Some beat it and some didn't.

That night, I was able to talk with my sister for the first time following her diagnosis. I realized that this would not be your typical battle with cancer. All the worry that I had, the anxiety that I had laid at Jesus feet, was exchanged with peace and replaced with encouragement. Andrea was confident. I could hear the smile in her voice. It was obvious that God was at work in my sister's life.

Every phone call since that first one, for the last 6 months, have been similar. I have never heard my sister complain once. She has stayed positive through this entire fight. I had the opportunity to spend three special days with her over Christmas. I savored every moment. All of the feelings that she communicated over the phone were magnified in person. She literally radiated joy. She was at peace. She was totally content with her life and where the Lord was taking her.

As I have observed my sister's battle with cancer, I have learned three major lessons. There are others, but these are the biggies. These lessons have been learned from afar because she lives in Texas and I'm in Minnesota. These lessons have been learned over the phone, through Facetime, and in the few days we spent together in December.

The first lesson that I have learned from watching my sister is that strength isn't manufactured. There have been times in my life when I have needed strength. Strength to make a major decision. Strength to speak in public. Strength to endure a year and a half of living with parents with three small children. These are all well and good, however, it pales in comparison with having a terminal disease and undergoing the rigors of chemotherapy with a smile. A smile is the outer expression of an inner strength, peace and joy. This strength isn't something that she just musters up or pulls out of a hat. This strength comes from her relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Andrea has always had a close relationship with Jesus. As far back as I can remember, I found Andrea in her room spending time with Jesus reading her Bible or praying. That time spent fueling the flame of her walk with God is reaping a harvest of righteousness and inner-strength that very few people in this world have. Jesus is living in Andrea and giving her strength.

Secondly, I have seen James 1:3 come to life. In a nutshell, this verse tells us that trials bring perseverance and perseverance brings faith. I have taught this verse many times, but have never understood it until this year. This is obviously a trial in Andrea's life. Cancer is not a walk in the park. The same can be said of chemo. Instead of Andrea going into depression or drowning in her sorrows and bad news, Andrea has done the opposite. She has asked the Lord to be glorified in her life through this battle. Her prayer since day one has been, "Lord, whatever you want to do in me, have your way." The Lord is our healer and we have been praying for that, but He is also our sanctifier and many times those two attributes go hand in hand. Andrea has had her faith built and has grown deeper in her love of Jesus through this season. God has taught me the value of enduring trial as a faith builder.

Thirdly, I have learned that nothing should come in between our relationship with Jesus. The verse that our family has rallied around during the last six months is Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That is an incredible truth and has brought so much hope to our family. The flip side of that verse would be that we, as followers of Christ, should not allow anything to get in the way of our love for Him. There are many things that could create a wedge and drive us away. I have counseled people in ministry over the years who have allowed cancer to drive them away from the Lord. It has been incredible for me to observe my sister growing closer to Jesus even in the midst of this fight. She has not allowed this horrible disease to keep her from all that is hers through faith in Jesus Christ. I have been challenged to not allow my circumstances to stand in the way of pressing into Jesus.

I want to encourage you. If you find yourself in the midst of a fight, don't give up. God has a plan. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord." God knew from the day Andrea was born that she would face this battle. This didn't catch Him by surprise. He has a perfect plan for Andrea and He has a perfect plan for you. Trust in Him. Our only hope in this world is Jesus Christ. Do you believe that?

The Breakdown of the Family

At the core of every community are the families who live in it and create an environment that we call home.  The family has been the core of any community since the foundation of the world.  In Genesis 2:18, we read that God said, "It is not good for man to be alone."  So what did God do?  He created woman and they started a family.  The family was God's design from the very beginning.

Then, as we read in the early days of Israel's history, God established bedrock principles for the family.  Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says, "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."  Parents are to first of all love and honor God, and then to train their children to do the same.  The end of the book of Joshua, in chapter 24, Joshua is transitioning out of leadership and he gives the people of Israel one final command, "Choose you this day whom you will serve."  Then he makes a remarkable statement, which should be the mission of every family, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Furthermore, as we look at the teaching of Jesus in the gospels, He makes it very clear that man and woman were designed to enter a marriage covenant for the purpose of starting a family.  Mark 10:6-9 says, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’  ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  From this passage we learn several truths:  1)  God established marriage.  2) Marriage is between one man and one woman.  3) Marriage is the instrument for starting a new family. 

In addition, as we read in Ephesians, we gain further insight into how a family should function with the man as the leader or head of the family.  Ephesians 5:22-24 says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." There are too many homes where the head is missing.

It's sad to look around my neighborhood and see a breakdown of the family.  I see single parent homes, live in boyfriends/girlfriends, children being born out of wed-lock, children being abused, children who are living a rebellious life with no parental authority demanding respect, and this just barely scratches the surface.  Seeing this breakdown, literally breaks my heart.

One of the main factors for this breakdown is because our government has gotten away from Biblical principles.  It all begins as a little leaven creeps into the bread.  As I consider our culture and the breakdown of the family, there are four factors that are contributing to this breakdown.  These four areas in no particular order are: divorce, pornography, abortion, and gay marriage.  Each of these issues lead to the breakdown of families and the breakdown of homes.  Our government has enabled much of these problems.  They have taken what is sacred and holy and made it common.  It has caused the standards of purity and righteousness to be lowered.  In the words of Isaiah, "All we like sheep have gone astray, we have each turned our own way."

It's obvious we are living in what the Bible refers to as the last days.  As a follower of Christ, it's easy to get discouraged as we see this decay happening in our culture and certainly as it pertains to the breakdown of the family.  However, it is suppose to happen.  May our discouragement be reversed as we turn our attention to the return of Christ.  The world will get worse and our children and grandchildren will deal with it much worse than us.  However, the return of Christ is our hope!  Until then, may our commitment to Christ grow strong.

I have come to appreciate the words from a little known book in the Bible, Jude 1:17-13, "But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.  But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.  Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh."

That last verse is becoming one of my favorites. In my words, "Be merciful to the haters. Save others from the fire of hell." As followers of Jesus Christ, may our lights continue to shine. The only solution to this breakdown of the family is Jesus Christ. May our families grow closer to Jesus and to each other. May we reach out to those families who are in need. May we say, as Joshua did long ago, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Jesus is the answer for the world today. Jesus will keep our families from breakdown.